On the first day of April, on the Night Meant for Fools

It was late in the day, of the Communist Rules

He was watching…enjoying his big screens great joys…

When Morton the Miscreant heard a small noise.

So Morton stopped watching. He looked towards the sound.

“That’s funny,” thought Morton. “There’s no one around.”

Then he heard it again! Just a very faint yelp

As if some kind of person were calling for help.

“I’ll help you,” said Morton. “But who are you? Where?”

 Then a Man in a Dress appeared from Nowhere!

“A Man is Man”, they heard Morton Say.

No Matter how Crazy. No Matter How Gay.

Oh no, Brother Morton, said the man in the dress.

Your eyes do deceive you, your brain is a mess.

For I am what I think, and not what you see.

In the Land of the Brave, and Home of the Free!

Then Morton the Miscreant Let out a Sigh

Then Morton the Miscreant started to Cry!

A Man is a Man, They heard Morton say.

Your y Chromosome is what gives it away!

A woman is someone with two of the x’es.

Not someone who thinks, they’re the opposite sexes!

A man is a man, no matter how Gay.

Science is Science and you’re in the Way!

Brother Morton, my feelings, I fear you have slain.

The law says that you are sick in the brain

If you call me a man, once more to my face

I’ll call the Police, they’ll be swarming the place.

Then Morton sighed a very big Sigh

And Then Morton let out a Very Big Cry.

Its Science my friend, he yelled to the stars

And Wearing a Dress, doesn’t change who you are!

You can knock down my door.

You can throw me in jail.

But the fact you’re a man

Is a fact that won’t fail.

So put on some pants.

Your fooling no-one

Unless there;s a chance

That your mind’s too far gone.

Then the man in the dress

Turned a white shade of pale

My minds not a mess.

He insisted, now frail

Brother Morton I fear

You have caused me to flee

In the Home of the Brave

And the Land of the Free!

So Morton the Miscreant went back to TV

In the Home of the Brave, and the Land of the Free!